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Are you sad?




At your wits’ end?




No pep?

No vim?

Life got y0


Fit W 0rks!!! 

All your  ills  will  
tota lly  disappear,
(Guarantee not valid.)

Inquire immediately!!!



Who could resist such a compelling presentation?  It's irresistible.    But regardless of how subtle the message, it's results that matter.  Do what is effective.  We'll leave the rest for you to intuit, deduce, or stumble onto.

Be excellent.


CrossFit Burbank


Deserves got nothing to do with it.

Has to do with justice. An illusive thing. Hybrid of the unicorn and the snipe. Or is that just cynical. Point is, we deserve what we earn. We earn what we work at -- where we put our effort and time. If you spend a lot of time, oh, say, eating, then you most certainly do deserve those extra pounds.

An unsympathetic judgment? Reality is ever so unforgiving. Gravity doesn't call a timeout. You stumble, you fall -- or catch yourself; in neither case does gravity bend its rules.

We deserve what we earn, whether or not we get it. Wanting fitness, or an attractiveness of figure or physique -- well, that's just an emotion, the wanting. Do you deserve what you want? Only if you've earned it. We exclude of course such basic human rights as air and justice. We deserve justice, although we may not want it. Depends what our conduct has been, eh?

So when advertisers tickle our ears by suggesting we deserve every wonderful thing, yeah, there's the part of us that says, "Yep, that's right -- I deserve it! Cuz I'm so great! Yeeeah!" Then there's the rational part of the brain, that remembers cause and effect.

You rewarded yourself with that half-gallon in one sitting of rocky road ice cream because you earned it by having a hard day at work, or by having your paramour disrespect you so that you required some other comforting. That was the intent of eating all that ice cream. And you were comforted. But those 2700 calories amount to almost one sexy pound of body fat. You earned that too, by eating the ice cream -- and hoping that your body uses it to give you Angelina Jolie lips may not be a desire thoroughly grounded in reality.

We deserve what we earn. Physics is not forgiving. Entropy is the presiding law of the universe. Miracles come from outside of the universe, and, like forgiveness, have to do with grace, with unmerited favor. We hope for it, but we don't deserve it. Hardly ever.

A dark message? But no! -- a message of hope. Because when we apply intelligence to any mechanistic system, entropy is reversed. Order increases rather than declines. Beauty is generated. We grow fit. We become, in a very real way, younger. Why, it's almost miraculous! Strange, how going through some ritual can change reality. Working out, then -- that most mundane of processes -- is where magic comes from.

You deserve what you earn. You earn what you work for. They call it "working" out for a reason. Of course we all know this. But if that's the case, why do the advertisers try to tell us otherwise? You deserve a break today? Maybe. How would they know? Indeed, they know as well as we do, that people only deserve what they earn. And if they know it, why are they lying? -- and if they're not lying, how did they get so crazy? Bewildering.

How to earn what you want? In this context, effective exercise, and responsible diet. It's not about tickling your ears, unless its from beads of sweat running down the side of your head.

Be excellent.


CrossFit Burbank

Some Mockery, Then Some Information

People are saying that they're feeling differently about you. Ever since they saw you naked that one time, they're saying they've lost all respect for you. They say they can't understand how anyone could let happen to them what you've let happen to you. It's astonishing. Clothes sure do make the man. Clothes, and buckets and buckets of pork rinds. It's like pudding poured into a canvass sack. There is a sort of shape. But are there any bones in there? Or is it all, uh, stuffing. That's what they're saying.

Food is about health. Exercise is about fitness. You can have fit people, elite athletes, who get by on genetics and training. Are they healthy? If health is the absence of sickness, then yes they are. But health is a reservoir of potentials. It's not just what's on the surface. The question is, are you able to fight off sickness, and not just avoid it somehow. Can you confront it, and beat it before it gets a hold. And all those diseases awaiting some person down the line -- are they dormant or incipient or festering now? If so, that's not health.

Same with healthy people, with their great diets. It's not the same as fitness. Diet makes fitness easier, but fitness is about performance, and that has to be practiced. Training. By these standards, though, it is clear that the starting point is health, and fitness follows. Diet, followed by training.

Here's the upshot, about why carbs are bad. All calories can be made into fat. Free fatty acids. That's just a form of usable energy in your blood. These fats are stored in cells as FAT -- blubber fat -- by being bound together as triglycerides. The glue that turns the good free fatty acids into the bad blubber is glycerol. Your body gets glycerol by burning carbs -- glucose. So the more carbs you burn, the more glue there is to bind fats. Glycerol is the limiting factor.

Isn't that interesting? It's exactly the same idea as with omega 3. You can't make anti-inflammatory hormones unless you have omega 3. The more you have, the more you can make, and that's a good thing. The more glycerol you have, the more blubber you can make, and that's a bad thing. The wrong lesson to draw from this is that you shouldn't eat carbs. Plants are carbs. Eat plants. Don't eat glue factories. Grains. Some bread? Sure, once in a while. All the time, at every meal? What, is there a famine? Wheat is great if you're starting a neolithic civilization. But too few calories is not the problem, in 21st century America.

The observation has been made that Canadians don't seem nearly as fat as Americans. Well, the Canadian government didn't start to sponsor a poisonous -- low fat -- diet, beginning in the 80s. Exactly the time when obesity started its meteoric rise. Although meteors don't rise. Sure, low fat generally means fewer calories. But it also means low ESSENTIAL fats. You can turns carbs into fat, but never into essential fats. So it's a malnutrition diet. Brilliant. Thanks for that. Instead of getting the essentials, we got hydrogenated- and transfats.

Where's a coup when you need one? Start with yourself. Sensible diet, sensible exercise.

Be excellent.


CrossFit Burbank

A Sophisticated Novel (excerpt)

To 'Scape the Serpent's Tongue:
an elegant novel


F.W. Werques

Chapter xxi: Too Much in Love to Say Goodnight

"I am so bored with you, do you hear me? Bored," she said, carelessly. "Bored. Bored."

"Oh darling, you bore me so with your speaking of being so bored," he drawled in casual retort.

He stood, leaned against the mantle, one arm draped casually about the alabaster bust of Cato the Elder -- c. 234-149 BC, a Roman statesman, surnamed the Censor (Censorius), or the Elder (Major), to distinguish him from Cato the Younger (his great-grandson), who came of an ancient Plebeian family who all were noted for some military service but not for the discharge of the higher civil offices, and was bred, after the manner of his Latin forefathers, to agriculture, to which he devoted himself when not engaged in military service but, having attracted the notice of Lucius Valerius Flaccus, he was brought to Rome, and successively held the offices of Cursus Honorum: Tribune (214 BC), Aedile (199 BC), Consul (195 BC), and finally Censor (184 BC), and died by cutting out his own guts -- that he had purchased from a wizened Swiss in San Moritz. He tugged casually at the satin cravat knotted casually about his neck in a careless four-in-hand knot. The heat of the room was becoming stifling. He wondered if he would ever be cool again.

"My, aren't you the cool one though," she observed from the low, satin chaise-longue she had purchased during her last tour of the Casbah. She fingered the priceless strand of matchless pearls strung casually about her careless neck.

"Yes, I tell you again, I am bored with you."

"And I you."

"My boredom knows no limit."

"Not half so limitless as my own."

"You are tiresome," she snorted, her mocking laughter ringing like breaking crystal.

"Your words are hurtful."

"You dare speak to moi of hurtful? When it was you, you who tore my beautiful gossamer negligee in my boudoir that Coleen my chamber maid laid out on the eider of my canopied bed last night?" It had been a gift from the Maharajah of a land-locked principality on the Subcontinent on her last tiger hunt.

"Indeed, and I am glad, glad do you hear me, glad that I did! And I will tear all your negligees to pieces, again and again, forever do you hear me, forever!" And he laughed madly, removing his elbow carelessly from the alabaster bust of Cato and placing it casually to his hip, laughing madly in merriment. "And now you must pardon me, Agnes, for I must go and vote."

"Vote?" Her scornful laughter tinkled like breaking glass. "Oh my, you are such a gran naif. But don't you know, mon cher, how foolish such is? For beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. For it both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what my very father the Commodore has done. And I am ... your wife, Agnes!

"'My wife Agnes.' Ha ha. I laugh, laugh at the very idea! For no wife are you!"

"Oh, what woman could be a wife to you? If you were a real man it would be easy, but you, you are contemptible, contemptible do you hear me? Contemptible!"

"Your contempt bores me."

"No, it is you who bore me."

"I am leaving you, Agnes."


"And I am taking Philomena, our young blonde daughter, with me."

"No! No you mustn't, you can't."

"Oh but I can, Agnes, I can and I shall! For here are the very documents, proving how unfit you are!" His voice cracked like broken pottery with triumph and emotion, and out he carelessly pulled a large sheaf of documents from beneath the voluminous folds of his satin cravat. "All signed and sealed, by my father His Honor the Chief Justice! And there is nothing you can do about it! Nothing, do you hear me? Nothing!"

"Is there not! More fool you! For I shan't allow it! Shan't, I say! Shan't!" And out from under the delicately embroidered cushions of her chaise-longue she plucked the pearl-handled derringer pistol that had been given to her by the deposed president of a small Caribbean island nation.

"No! No, Agnes, you mustn't! Think of our small blonde daughter Filomina! The scandal of it! The scandal!"

"But I am, Frederick, I am!" And with a cold glint in her feminine eye, she carefully aimed her derringer pistol and ... fired!

End of Chapter XXI


If you would like to be so insouciant and jejune just like these sophisticated jet-setters, you must be in shape! FitWorks is ever so adroit at such. Delay no more!


Ugh. Yes, it's bad. Very very bad indeed. So sorry. We must have our little jokes. Point is, there is a time for silliness. There's a time to get serious, too. Look in the mirror. Is it time? How's your cholesterol? Blood pressure? Blood sugar levels? Et cetera?

Sensible diet, sensible exercise. That's the right way to deal with a lack of fitness. Drugs? Please. Aren't you done with the drugs yet? Just because they're called "medicine" doesn't mean they're good for you. They're good only in the sense that they mediate some of the ill that an unhealthful lifestyle causes. When you get serious about being healthy, you address causes, not symptoms.

Fitness is about health, and training is about more than a set of movements. If you suppose it's time to take responsibility -- of your body, fer cripe's sake -- then get hopping.

Be excellent.


CrossFit Burbank
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