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Bob's Photo Album

Bob is a bodybuilder. Bob Dude. He is totally jazzed about his phenomenal training!!! He's emailed FW a number of photos he'd like to post, enthusing people about his life!!!!!!!

Here's the house Bob says he grew up in, on the road up to the Hollywood reservoir. Bob says he still lives there.

He says it has a lot of stairs.

This is Bob's old "psycho" girl friend Gwen. Bob says he is "so totally over her." Bob says that some wisenheimers say Gwen is a man, but Bob thinks that's just ignorant. He thinks they are ignorant of basic anatomy.

Bob says Gwen totally cut up his comic book collection with pinking shears.

This is Bob's dog Yoda, that cost $1700.

That's Gwen holding him. "Before she got totally fat," Bob adds. Bob says she claimed it was a glandular problem. "Yeah," says Bob, "if a spoon is a gland." He asks, "Where can you hide ice cream?"

Here's Ursula, Bob's latest girlfriend. Bob made an inappropriate comment about her, which shall not be repeated.
Then Bob got a little abusive and insulting toward other men, and calls them "epicene little babbits." Bob may have a hormonal imbalance that affects his judgment and civility.

Bob says this is his workout buddy, who is "something big in the entertainment industry." Bob declines to drop any names, but says "you have definitely heard of him." The italics are his.

Bob maintains that this is the product of "hard work and perseverance," and that "you too can look this good, if you really want it."  The emphases are again his.

Here's Bob, he says. He says he's a bit unsatisfied with his left latissimus dorsi, which he says seems a little puny compared to the right, but he thinks it may be the lighting. He says it feels symmetrical, what he can reach of it.
Bob thinks people stare at him, and is often heard to say, "Hey, I'm up here. A little privacy?"

Bob has many photos of himself and his life. If you would like to see more, he says, on his private subscription website, he wants you to email him and he will send you an application form. He says you will not be sorry.

So that's Bob and what he thought he'd like to share of his life in pictures. Who are we to judge? If his aesthetics and common sense are a tad different than our own, at least he seems to be doing no harm.

Most people have different goals than Bob's. Most folks want to increase their level of fitness, so that they feel and function at a level better than they have ever known. We think those are excellent goals. Most people, deep down, admit that appearance is important, but health is even more important. We agree. It's a package deal, where fitness, health and appearance are highly correlated.  Sensible and beneficial goals, well, how sensible.

Be excellent.


CrossFit Burbank

Strength through Joy

This is the original sketch for the KdF-Wagen -- Kraft durch Freude. The Strength through Joy Car.

You've heard of the artist. Of course you have. A certain A. Hitler? Who was, by the way, a vegetarian.

Turn that frown upside down, mister.

He was taking a leisurely luncheon on a balmy München afternoon in the giddy summer of '32, when it came to him as an inspiration. Later he slipped the sketch to Jakob Werlin, head of Daimler-Benz: "Take it with you and speak with people who understand more about it than I do. But don't forget it. I want to hear from you soon, about the technical details." It's refreshing to find a leader who doesn't think he knows it all, and who knows how to delegate ... that was Carter's problem.

And the rest is, as they say, history.

Buy the dream.

Isn't it funny where things come from?

Yep. Strength is good. When it's sane. Balanced, with endurance, and speed, and flexibility -- and benevolence, sanity, and not being evil. We must be speaking of another sort of strength. Yes, we are. The healthy kind. That can be earned through a diligent character, using self-discipline and intelligence.

That's what meaningful exercise is about. Keeping a focus, using safe and effective techniques, to gain admirable goals of self-improvement.

FitWorks. We do that. Focus, effectiveness. Your excellence is our excellence. We're good for each other.

Be excellent.


CrossFit Burbank

An Exiting Scifi Novel (Exerp!!!!!)

The Son of ...

F.W. Werques!!!

Chapter xxliiv; The Answer to it ALL!!

When the lights came back on again I was lying all spreadeagled out on this metal table and strapped down with leather and metal chains.

"Ugh," I exclaimed.

There was a scary sounding laugh that came from behind me, at the top of my head because I was flat on my back, so it wasn't really technically behind me then. It was above me, but not above somebody who would be standing.

"Ha ha!" -- the eerie voice entoned scarily. "Ha ha ha!"

"Who is that!?" I wandered out loud.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" said the scary voice disembodiedly?

"Yes, I would. That's the reason that I asked," I retorted smartly.

"Very well then, I will tell you who it is! And boy will you be sorry and surprised! And you would never have guest, in a million years! For, you see, I am none other then ... the Son of Hitler!"

Man was I ever surprise! That was so surprising. Never had I suspected that the archfiend who had been causing all those humongous tidal waves that destroyed the great megalopolices of the mighty nations of the Planet Earth.

"Well your right. I was surprised," I gasped in surprised amazement. "But I wasn't sorry!"

"No, not yet you weren't, but you will be so sorry." He entoned in a slobbery slurpy sucking voice.

"No I won't be!" For no son of Hitler would ever again pollute the world with tyranny and oppression, where free men breath and walk across all the generations of mankind unto the last recorded syllable of recorded time!"

"Oh yes, Doctor Van Hellsing, you are a fine one for making stirring moving speeches that are so eloquent, heroic, and articulate. But you have finally met your match! For, I, the Son of Hitler, shall continue to conquer the world as did my honorable Father, Adolph Hitler, the der Furor, before me. None may withstand before the might of my articulate eloquence!" he entoned. "For beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. For it both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what I have done. And I am ... the Son of Hitler! And my mighty army of reborn Nazis shall march by my side to conquor the world once more unto victory! And nothing shall ever stop me and my Nazies, once the infrastructures of the Planet has been destroyed by my climate control devise. Here, would you like to see it?" It was right there, in a little box.

"I kept on wondering about were all those Nazies was coming from."

"Well now you know, for I just told you. Here is my revifivication machine, where I put dead bodies into it here and they come out live nazis there, at this other end."

And he showed me a giant machine that looked sort of like a meat grinder, but with flashing lights all over it like a scientific machine, and some buttons and knobs and those needles that bounce around and make a noise.

"That's very interesting, I said." But I was stalling for time, because I was practicing an ancient bone stretching technique that I learned a long time ago, when I was a mysterious stranger living in the tallest mountains of the ancient civilization of India! And then I burst forth from my broken bonds of metal, and leapt to my athletic feet!

"Very impressive, Dr. Vanhell!" said the Son of Hitler! But your amazing talents are of no avail here, deep in my lair within this extinct volcano! Guards! Size him!

And they did no matter how powerfully I struggled. But then I saw what he looked like!

He had tenticles growing out of his face! And he wore a black uniform with those red armbands like a nazi! And instead of a hat he had a skull on his head!

"Let me go!" But the giant guards wouldn't.

"And this is my Climate controlling device, the key to my whole plan, with which I control the climate and melt all those icebergs, as my father the Furrier did before me! I bet you wish you could break it! But my guards are too powerful and nobody before has ever broken out of their mighty grasp! It is impossible!" And he laughed maniacally, with his tentacles flapping in the foul wind of his fetid breathe!

But I broke free and grabbed the device, and threw it to the stoney outcropping and smashed it beneath my boots! The very same boots that I had gotten from that weird mysterious old man at the beginning!

"Noo!!!" The mighty Son of Hitler entoned! "My plans for world dominatrix! Ruiiiiiiiiiiiinnnned!"

"Ha ha!" I laughted, and ran up the escarpment. And then when I reached the outside of the volcanoe there was an explosion, and the whole mountain caved in. But I was miles away, standing on a high cliff watching, and as the sun set redily in the distant horizon, I sighed a heroic sigh of relief, knowing that once more the World would never again face the tyranny from ... The Son of Hitler! And the hot girl was with me, that I rescued.

"Oh F.W.," She said, "You are so wonderful."

But deep within the broken bowels of the mighy volcani, there stirred a hideous form, with testacles all over its face!

The End?


If you would like many exciting adventures just like our mighty hero Docter F.W. Vanhelzinger, and learn how to stretch your bones in the mystical technics of the mysterious East, you must be POWERFUL!!! And stuff! That's what we here does!

FitWorks. Training.

Be accident!



CrossFit Burbank
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