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Weakness

You know what weakness is. It's what we crumple with. Unavoidable, of course. If illness or accident or crime don't get us, time will. It's in the way our atoms spin -- with a wobble. So it's not about perfection. Nothing in this universe is perfect, or can be. What then of strength? It's what we use to distinguish ourselves from, well, from what is weak. It's what we use to stand, when we want to fall.

We're born with only emotion. There is no capacity for rationality. That comes later. Of course they whine and cry and are selfish. That's what animals are. It's not that we eliminate emotion. We just grow larger than it. If we do. It isn't their fine minds and grasp of detail that endear children to us. We may notice such a thing, and be impressed, but our fondness comes from their purity. There must be an insight there, something about knowledge complicating things. Well, of course. It's a Tree of Life / Tree of Knowledge thing. But we have to be larger than purity. We grow into a new sort of purity, as innocence becomes integrity. If it does. If we do.

In all of us there is much weakness, and some strength, and it's not quite enough, but if we don't have hope, perhaps it will be given to us? It's not being in charge that makes us happy. It's accepting the way things are. Which isn't to say we can be irresponsible. Sometimes we're in charge, and we mistake that for happiness. But it's being in charge. Being. Now, I'm in the mud, in the cold rain. And I am happy. Now I am with my beloved, who is tender and lovely, and I am happy. Now, I'm working hard, striving toward some goal, in pain, and happy.

There it is. When we're engaged in some unpleasant task, exercise, say, we may listen to the dull hateful voices inside our heads, dim, stupid. If we listen to the voices, only, we surely would not do well, for all that there was a good start. With effective coaching, and effective strategies, we improve, physically and mentally. That's just how it works. Improvement. Finding new strength. It need not be dramatic, or even steady. But it's getting better, and it makes us happy.

It takes another voice, though. There's never silence. Coaching, or music, or self-talk -- or the old voices of failure. Because when we strive for excellence there's always going to be the pain. It's being happy about it that makes the difference. Happiness is accepting the inevitable, and seeing the good in it, and loving the good.

When you crumple, with weakness, who will you find by your side, to lean on? It's such a soulful, such an existential question. Depends on how you've lived your life, doesn't it. If we narrow the scope of the question, to workouts and physical improvement, well, it's best to work out with other actual people. With exercise, sadly, there is no leaning on anyone else. You do it. Other encouraging people are the other voices, the good ones, that help you through the emotion and the weakness, as a series of steps, baby steps or great athletic leaps as the case may be.

Weakness? It will always be with us. It is an addiction. Maybe we can't be free of it entirely. But if we can't, perhaps we'll be strong, through it. We will not be its slaves. Are we inconsistent? That's because, like all children, we are emotional, and only just learning about rationality.

Nevertheless, be excellent.

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